Originally written on Dec. 5, 2006
As you may recall, Lois and I were fortunate to live in the apartment at Mom and Dad's old Orem house for the first two years we were married. Then we were able to take advantage of the affordable housing in Eagle Mountain (motto: It's not THAT far) and build a house there, where we have been for the last five and a half years.
Well, the time has come for us to move again. The house on Clover Street has a lot of memories for us. Like the cobweb at the very peak of the vaulted ceiling that would not go away, no matter how hard I wished it would. Over time I became fond of the little guy (I like to call him Cobbie). Oh, what larks we had, where I would take a swipe at Cobbie with the broom while standing atop a bar stool, boosted further by other precarious objects, and he would waft upwards just out of reach and I would tumble down, nearly cracking open my skull. Unfortunately, Cobbie met with an untimely demise when Lois somehow managed to suck him up with the vacuum.
There are other memories, too. I think some of them involved Buzz.
So, where are we moving, you ask? Well, I'll tell you if you will stop interrupting. We are moving to a little place about a mile away at [address]. Isn't that Mom and Dad's house, you say? Yes, yes, I was getting to that, sheesh. As I was saying, Mom and Dad have kindly offered to let us move back in with them. BUT ROB, ISN'T THAT A STEP BACKWARD FOR YOU????? you ask, which is a fair question. Though I don't know why you use that kind of punctuation. We will live with Mom and Dad for a few months and then they plan to go on a mission, during which time we will continue to live in the house so that Cobbie's relatives won't try to take squatters' rights. Oh, and so the cats might get fed once in a while, too.
I'm sure you are dying to ask when we will be moving, but are politely waiting for an appropriate opportunity (thank you). We have not yet listed our house. I was thinking that we would be ready to list in about a week. However, the cracks in our stucco believe otherwise, and they insist upon being repaired by the same man who clearly did such an excellent job originally, that of course we want to pay him several hundred dollars to do it again. So anyway, once the cracks go away and stop complaining, then we should be able to list our house. Many houses in our area have sold in 3-4 weeks or less after listing. Will our house sell that quickly? I think you meant that as a rhetorical question, since it is obvious that I do not posses the ability to tell the future.
Carmela and Tony have kindly lent us some furniture for our living room and dining room area, and Mom and Dad have kindly lent us some furniture for the bedroom, to help the house show better. People don't want to buy a house when they know that the people living there had a green couch with a poorly fitting blue slip cover on it. Seriously? A green couch? With a blue slip cover? What were you thinking?? Shut it.
PS. Here's a good way to remember why you have to paint some or all of your house before you sell it:
Take about a quarter teaspoon of cayenne pepper (or cajun spice if you have it)
Now snort it up your nose
There you go
Oh, you want me to explain the parallel? Well, it is painful and it makes you cry, but someone told you that you have to do it.