So, Lois and I have lived at my parents' house in Eagle Mountain for over 5 years now. Mom and Dad have been great to live with. I think I could count the number of times I've mowed the lawn with my shoes on. Well, I always mow the lawn with my shoes on. I just mean that I could count the times on my fingers and wouldn't need my toes. No, I don't really need my toes to count that high, it's just a silly saying! Okay, forget it. I'm saying that Dad almost always mows the lawn. I guess he figured he can't give me chores to do since I work for Lois now. We've also had the benefit of Mom and Dad volunteering to tend the boys (for free!) so that we can go out on dates. It's nice when we can just put the boys to bed and go for a drive, and since Mom and Dad are in the house, we have no qualms about leaving the kids. And sometimes you're just in the mood for nachos and Mountain Dew, right?
The city of Eagle
Mountain is not without its charms. You know in the old Peanuts
cartoons where Snoopy's cousin Spike makes "snowmen" and "Christmas
trees" out of tumbleweeds in the desert? It's kind of like that. Who
wouldn't want to live in a place like that?
But, the time has
come at last for us to bid a fond adieu to the tumbleweed capital of
Utah County. We're moving to American Fork, which my sister Carmela very helpfully
pointed out is called "Cave Nation." I learned this mere hours after
closing the deal on the house, so there's no turning back. Now, I
admit that most school mascots are kind of stupid. I grew up in Orem, home of the Mountain View Bruins. I was always under the impression that a
bruin was a certain type of bear. But it's not. It's simply another
word for bear. But it's really not even that. It came from an old
Dutch fable, where the bear was named "Bruin," which is the Dutch word
for "brown." That's just silly.
But come on, the Cavemen?
How does anyone even pretend that cavemen represent anything that a
person would want to emulate? Cavemen lived in caves because they were
too stupid to build their own houses. Their marriage ceremony
involved conking a cavewoman on the head with a club and then dragging
her by the hair back to the cave. Expressions such as "living in a
cave" have become cultural metaphors for a modern human who displays
traits of extreme ignorance or uncivilized behavior.
of my favorite Jack Handy Deep Thoughts: I bet when the Neanderthal kids
made a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the
thick, heavy brows." Then they would all get embarrassed because they
remembered they had the big hunky brows too, and they'd get mad and eat
So anyway, we're going to live in American Fork, aka
"Cave Nation." When it comes to it, "American Fork" is kind of a silly
name for a city too. It used to be called Lake City, but settlers
renamed it in 1860 after the American Fork River that runs through it to
avoid confusion with Salt Lake City. I can see how a caveman might
confuse the two.
We are pretty excited about the new house.
It is a rambler built in 2001 with a fully finished basement and a 3 car
garage. It has 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms upstairs, and 2 bedrooms
and 1 bathroom downstairs. There's also a little kitchenette
downstairs with a fridge, sink and dining area. So, I guess if we wanted to, you know, have dinner in the basement or something, it would be that much easier to do it.
Before we knew
we would be closing on the house, I booked a trip to DC for work, which
is where I am currently. We didn't want to delay the closing, which
was scheduled for the 12th, so I notarized a Power of Attorney document
which allowed Lois to sign all of the closing documents. So while I
was eating fish & chips at McGinty's, Lois was buying our house.
all taken care of now, and we're going to move this Saturday. If you know me and are looking for something to do, feel free to stop by the house
to move a few boxes, or maybe a refrigerator or dresser. We'll get
started around 9am. Also, this Saturday is my Mom's birthday, so there's