What Spews Forth

My brother Fritz pointed out to me that it has been over six months since my last post.  He apparently thought that six months was a long time.  It's all a matter of perspective, though.  I mean, if we're talking about how often I shave, then yes, I suppose some people would say that six months is a long time.  But if we're talking about how often I shave my legs, then I think six months is just about right, right?

Anyway, I really just haven't come up with a lot of good material lately (and if I have any readers left, you can submit suggestions to rob@robfromreality.com.  I might even read them!).  Usually something random pops into my brain, and then it starts writing itself. So I figured I'd just start typing and we'll see if what spews forth ends up being funny.  Spew is kind of a funny word, right?  Maybe I could just make a list of funny words.

Spew
Pants
Gazump
Burrito
Gordita
Chalupa
Taco 12 Pack
Slobberknocker

Hmm... my list seems to have morphed into the Taco Bell menu.  Isn't that just the typical way of things? 

I suppose I should address the rather large elephant in the room and tell you how things went with my attempt at Veganism.  I am afraid that I did not successfully stay meat free for the full 40 days.  My downfall was cheating during my trip to DC.  Once I again tasted shrimp, chicken and beef (and I think an ostrich burger came into play too), there was just no going back.  And cheese, oh wonderful cheese.  There just weren't enough reasons left that I could think of to continue on with the experiment.  I did manage to stay away from Dr. Pepper for about 2 months, and I also managed somehow to get rid of the extra pounds that gradually snuck up on me since high school.  I suppose my body was afraid I might subject it to more tofu, collared greens, and flax seed.  But anyway, I am now once again happily eating food that once walked and frolicked and had parents.  And odds are that I probably ate their parents, too.  Mmm... tasty, tasty parents.

Lois, of course, is still faithfully eating only things which sprang forth from the ground.  I thought she was nearly cured when she mistook mustard greens for kale and had a very nasty green smoothie one morning (I mean, nastier than usual).  But no, she threw out the smoothie, used the remaining mustard greens in a miso soup, and right now she's probably happily crunching away on a raw zucchini.  And I am dying to try this braised partridge recipe I just found. 

And another thing:

Glabella
Bloviate
Hemidemisemiquaver
Widdershins
Shneee
Flink
Skullduggery
Hoi Polloi