My sister, Carmela, is participating in something her neighborhood has organized called "No Media July." It is pretty much as horrific as it sounds. Willing members of the area actually signed a contract stating that during the month of July they will refrain from any "recreational" electronic media. This includes TV, internet, email, texting, and music. With regard to internet use, they made a special point of clarifying "especially Facebook." They have made allowances for email and internet if needed for work or school, and "uplifting" music is okay. So Bon Jovi is in, but Midnight Oil is definitely out.
The great thing about this is that Carmela shouldn't see my blog for at least a month, so I can't get in trouble for making fun of her. Here's the thing. I can see how it's all noble and great to cut back on the electronic media that we as a society have developed an unhealthy dependency on, yadda yadda yadda. But what will abstaining for a month really do? My brother, Sir Pumpkin Longshanks (I feel compelled to remind you that names have been changed), once gave up desserts for a month. Then at the conclusion he pigged out on chocodiles, Oreo shakes and moon pies. As the clock strikes midnight on August 1st, I think there is no question that we will find Carmela and her media-abstaining conspirators plugging in for the most epic bender of Twittering, Facebooking, and Lolcatting ever seen.
Carmela and the Amish are also having non-media activities throughout the month to help stave off the withdrawal effects. She invited us to tonight's activity which involves a "bike rodeo" for the kids. Unfortunately, it starts after Buzz and Rocky's bedtime, so we can't go. The fact that I will be sitting in front of my TV watching Jack Bauer be awesome has nothing whatsoever to do with us not going.
I was curious how Carmela would handle her text messages. Does she have the strength not to read them when they come in? So I sent her a text that said, "If you are reading this, you are BUSTED." A few minutes later my phone buzzed and I was all excited to shame her for not being able to last even one day. Her response said, "Hi! This is an auto reply to let you know i am media free for july. If you want to talk call me!" A very clever cover up.
The media fast was originally scheduled a month earlier until the moms and teenage girls freaked out. They stormed the activities committee meeting and demanded that it be delayed by a month. Further investigation showed that the opening of "Eclipse" was scheduled for June 29th.
So while Carmela is Etch-A-Sketching while driving her horse drawn carriage and somehow perfecting Crack's Theorem to the fourteenth decimal, I will be... well, doing normal stuff.
Also, "Carmela and the Amish" is going to be the name of my band. It remains to be seen whether or not the music will be "uplifting."